Loyalty

   As I pay attention to professional sports, one of the trends that fans expect in all leagues is loyalty.  We demand loyalty from owners, other fans, and especially players.  We all become indignant when the star player leaves for another team, especially when it is the rival team. Loyalty doesn't come to just sports teams, but it extends to the places we shop, to the cloths we wear, and even to the people we hang out with.  There are number of grocery stores, gas stations and even coffee shops that offer some sort of rewards programs.  If you buy so much of gas, coffee, or groceries, you will get a percentage off or something free.  There are a lot of good things about loyalty and it is something that we all should have in our lives, but loyalty does have a dark side.  If we are not careful, we will start demanding things that we do not expect of ourselves, or end up in relationships that are not healthy.  Here are some areas of loyalty that we really need to squash, and if we don't, bad things will happen. 

  The first dark side of loyalty is that it can be a relationship killer.  One might think that loyalty will help keep the relationship going and keep it strong.  The way that loyalty kills the relationship is that one is afraid to rock the boat or to disagree with the parties involved.  The worse killer of the relationship is when we are so loyal in the relationship that we can not tell the other person they are wrong or admit to being wrong.  This is seeing that disagreement as being wrong and that when we tell other people they are wrong its that we are cutting them down as people.  In essence, we value the relationship over accountability.  We would rather keep the relationship superficial instead of digging deeper.  In this phase we do not value the person, because we are not willing to be open and honest with them.  If we really do value the relationship, we tell people the truth and not what we think they want to here.  When we tell people what we think they want to hear, and not the truth, not only are we lying to them, but we are lying to ourselves.  What kind of relationship is it, if we can not be honest. 

    The second dark side of loyalty is closely related to the first one.  It is the concept of we care more about the outward appearance than what is really going on, in the inside.  We would rather make things look good, when they are really not.  Two examples of this, is that we are either putting lipstick on a pig, or instead of changing the diaper, we are using the scented candles.  We want to keep the relationship so bad, we keep doing or not doing things to keep the relationship afloat.  Instead of working on things that need to be worked on, we are dancing around them or sweeping them under the rug and not admitting that they are even there.  When we do not admit to the elephant in the room because of loyalty, the relationship will die faster than a sinking ship.  An example of this is when I am talking with one of my good friends, he often starts rambling about something random and then I start to zone out.  Then after awhile he calls me out on it and I look like an idiot.  The other day we were talking and he decided to do this and I called him out on it.  He was really impressed and proud of me. 

   The third dark side of loyalty is that we expect more out of others than we do ourselves.  I see this in professional sports all the time.  We want the athletes to stay with the same team their whole career and when they bolt for more money and better benefits, we get angry.  Here is the thing, we would do the same thing if we were given the same opportunity.  In all reality, it is a double standard.  We should expect the same from ourselves, if not better, as we do others. Its just not fair to hold people to standards that we will not told ourselves too. One of the other dangers with this mentality is that we live through other people.  Whether it is pro athletes, our children, superiors at work, or people we admire.  We live through them, because we want what they have.  Whether it is fulfilling unmet dreams or desires, or that we are not satisfied with our own life.  To be point plank, we are lusting after other peoples giftings and talents, and most of the time its because we are not willing to put in the work and the time to develop our own, or we have a bad view of our giftings.  We all want the glamorous talents, such as looks, athleticism, leadership, and others, but here is the thing, all the talents are equal, because they are designed to not only reach people, but reach people for the Kingdom of God.  When we can start being more honest with ourselves and others, we can be more honest with God.  When we lust after other things, we are slapping God in the face and saying that He screwed up with us.  It is time where we start being honest with ourselves, others, and especially God.  Loyalty is a good thing, but when we can not be honest and it starts to ruin our relationship with God and others, it is a very bad thing