Authentic: of undisputed origin;
genuine.
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is
good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one
another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your
spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer. 13 Share
with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless
those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice
with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in
harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with
people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17 Do
not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of
everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on
you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:9-18
I was in a meeting this
week and a group of us were discussing Biblical Sexuality and how the world does
not embrace or adhere to the Biblical standards on sex and maybe even
relationships. One of the things that
kept coming to my mind during our conversation is the word authentic, because
this just may be the only way we can reach a hurting world and to show them
that Gods plan for our relationships is not stuck in the stone age or old
fashioned, or even bigoted, but it is the only way we can have a growing
relationship with each other and with God.
My first observation
about being authentic is that our relationships both romantically and
friendship needs to be more than a feeling.
Yes, we can use the famous Boston song as a reminder, because I know at
least with me, my feelings can be a roller coaster and they can vary from day
to day. When we base our life on
feelings, it makes life subjective. We
do whatever makes us happy or feel good.
If robbing a bank or punching someone in the face is going to make me
feel good, nothing should stop me from doing it and I should be free from the
consequences of doing such things. If we
based our relationships solely on feelings, it makes them shallow and it makes
us a consumer. When we become consumers,
it’s about what I want and when I want it, and if I do not get it, I cam and will
go elsewhere. I am not saying we should avoid
our feelings, but we can not let them run or ruin our lives.
My second observation on
being authentic is that we are in it for the long haul. One of my favorite books of all time is The
Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. One of the concepts that has stuck with me is
when Denver ask Ron if he was a part of a catch and release program or if Ron
was in it for the long haul. How many of
our relationships are we in is to either get something or to provide something
and when the business transaction is done, we move on. How many times do we do this, especially with
people we do not agree with? We either
just stick around till we either share the Gospel, there is some sort of
conversion, or some other moment and then we either walk or run away. I understand that there are some
relationships that run their course and they are in our lives in a particular
season for a particular reason. Whether
it is college friends, or people we work with, or for some other reason, those
people are in our lives for a short time.
I am not talking so much about this.
There are people in our lives that are in our lives for the long haul,
and those people are usually easy to identify.
Are we willing to speak honestly with these people and are we willing to
listen to them also, especially when they are sharing the hard truths with us. We can either stick around and embrace the
truth, avoid the conversation or just walk away.
The third observation
about authenticity is honesty, not only with others but with ourselves
also. How often do we spew a message
that we may or may not believe, but we know that this message will face the least
resistance or make us feel that we belong with a particular group. Its like living in Boston and hating the
Yankees, but secretly we have a severe man crush on Aaron Judge and the Steinbrenner
family. I know that this may seem trivial,
but I think that our culture is starving for some honesty and real talk. I do not think we need to be lighting people
up with Godly retribution because we can, but being honest with grace will go a
long ways, even if we do not know the answer.
We can talk all day about
being honest with other people all day long, but how often are we completely honest
with ourselves. Here is a news alert, we
can not be honest with others until we get honest with ourselves and God. Anything else is just half truths and
immaturity. So here is my question, are
we not honest with ourselves and or God because we are afraid of the answers or
because we are lazy and we do not want to grow up? I am sorry, we can not be Peter Pan and live in
his imaginary world because that world is make believe.
My fourth observation
about authenticity, especially when dealing with the hard stuff like Biblical
Sexuality, is that it takes vulnerability.
When we are vulnerable, it gets messy fast and that we have nothing to
protect us. I think that when we are vulnerable
with, ourselves, others and God, we are admitting that there is such a thing as
Truth and that it is not subjective or based on cultural or personal thoughts,
whims or feelings. When we are
vulnerable, we are admitting that there is a right and wrong and there is a
standard that we can actually live our lives by. But here is the thing about Truth, it is
still true and there is a standard to live by whether we are vulnerable or not or
agree even with it or think it is a bunch a garbage. Because of sin and our disobedience, our ways
and Gods ways are not the same, and the sooner we realize this and correct it,
the better off we all will be.
Vulnerability means
that when we have conversations with people we do not agree with, we try and
live at peace with them. I know that
this is not always possible, but we need to stop seeing the other side as a
bunch of idiots, but as people who are created in Gods image, and who are
sinners just like us. This means we
listen not to respond, but to understand.
I was in the doctors office recently and it was one of the first doctor
appointments in a long time where I felt like I was heard. This didn’t mean I walked away with answers,
but being heard can make all the difference in the world. When we seek to understand, we can respond appropriately
with Gods grace and with His love. In
essence we become the Rick Astley song Never Going to Give You Up and
that we are not going to tell lies, let each other down, or give up on each
other and desert each other?
So here are some questions to ponder:
Do we listen to respond or are
we listening to understand?
Do we ever have the desire to Rick
Roll people and leave them out to dry?
Is our relationships and or
truth about feelings or is it based on something that is more concrete?
