Family, Pacifiers and Colonoscopies

  For many of you, you all know that I have been spending a lot of time doctoring because my hemoglobin fell below six last fall.  The normal range for men is anywhere between 13-17.  This landed me in the hospital for several days and with my test I never thought I would ever get or be encouraged to do at this age.  For the record colonoscopies are not as bad as advertised, but they still are not pleasant.  We finally figured out that my iron or the lack there of was the cause of the issue because I have angiectasia.  The best way I can explain it is that when the veins and capillaries get to close in the digestive track, they can develop a flat spot and a leak and that's what I have.  My blood loss is so minimal that I didn't notice it.  I compare it to having a small oil leak on an older vehicle.  If the oil leak goes unchecked and unfixed, the oil light will come on eventually.  I have been getting iron transfusions and now we are transitioning to monthly transfusions to keep me up to par. 

  In the midst of all this, I was shoveling some snow so I would twist an ankle or knee, I fell and fractured my wrist.  This had me off of work because its hard to stock shelves with one hand.  I am thankful for short term disability and I have had some interesting color choices for my cast.  I hope to get the clearance to go back to work next week. 
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   One of the many test I had was a bone marrow biopsy and I remember the day I was going to the oncologist to get the results I was more nervous.  Thankfully it came back clean and as I was sitting in my car after the appointment I was mentally and even physically drained.  I had to take a couple of minutes to breath and I even cried a little.  There was the joy of not having cancer, but at the time, I still didn't have answers.  After I pulled myself together and I made a few phone calls, I was reminded of the parable in John 5 Jesus ask a paralytic if wanted to be healed.  The guys response wasn't that he wanted to be healed, but it was that he didn't have any family to put him into the pool of Bathesda.  I felt at that moment God was asking me if I wanted to be healed and honestly at that moment I didn't know if I did.  I was more comfortable with bouncing from doctor to doctor and test to test because it gave me something to do.  There are some things that I took away from that parable after reading it. 

  All Jesus did was ask a simple yes or no question and the paralytic skirted around the question.  It is what I call a "yes, but" response.  I know I do it a lot and I am sure I am not the only one who does this.  We claim we want to do something or have something done, but we either throw out some lame excuse or set up some sort of road block.  Whether it is weight loss, better relationships or finances or even a better working environment.  We throw out excuses like time, family or commitments that get in the way of those stresses in our life.  Just remember what they say about excuses, they are like armpits and everybody has at least one of them. The road block for the paralytic was that he didn't have any family.  How often do we use these excuses or road blocks as a pacifier or crutch.  I really like the pacifier concept because we all know that a pacifier can quiet a screaming toddler, but if they continue to use that pacifier, they will develop dental issues.  We all have those things that we use as a pacifier that makes us feel comfortable.  Here is the thing, when we are comfortable, the chances of growth are not great and why change when things are good.  One of the main ways we grow is when we feel uncomfortable and even then we might not change because it takes work.  Are we willing to make ourselves uncomfortable so that we can grow in a certain area in our lives so that we can become more mature.  If we are to believe and abide by the American Dream is all about achieving comfort to the highest degree.  I am not opposed to comfort, (especially in the form of beds and clothing) but when it prevents us from growth and maturity happening.  To paraphrase the Three Doors Down song Loser, are we letting our addictions or what we know become our pacifier and in return we can live that comfortable American Dream.

   Here is a question for all of us, what are those things that we hold on to a little to tight.  Essentially what are those things that are keeping us from growing.  Is it bad habits or relationships, or a ways of thinking.  Or do we have an addiction to something that is causing us to live unhealthy lives.  This goes way beyond sex drugs and rock n roll.  In essence what are those things that we let into our lives that we either have we place to high of value and use for us in our lives or that are just plain destructive.  Is screen time, work ethic (both the lack of and to much of) needing peoples approval, or just plain old checking out.  There are things both good and bad that we place a value in our lives that is way to high and it prevents us from growing and maturing.  To put it in Biblical terms, it is idolatry and we all need to do some soul searching to not only find those things but also put them in their proper place, even if we have to say no, or get rid of said things so that our life can get back in focus.  I have heard of professional athletes who have struggled with porn, actually exchanging their smart phones for flip phones so they would not be tempted.  Sometimes changes need to be that drastic in order for it to work

    The last thing that caught my attention was the family concept.  The paralytic uses family as an excuse to why he isn't healed.  It got me thinking of the role of family and I have come to the firm belief is that family is more than the people who you are related to or who you are willing to watch the game with and have drinks with.  True family has your back in the good times and stressful times.  They know when to encourage you and when to kick you in the butt.  I know that longevity doesn't necessarily make a good friend let alone a best friend, but truth, service, honesty and vulnerability sure do.  Do you have friends and family who want what is best for you and you for them and are we willing to help each other get there.  If we are not willing to do this, we are not truly family strong and our relationships are reduced to acquaintances at best.  Are you surrounding yourself who are willing to make you a little uncomfortable so that you are given the opportunity to grow and are willing to walk with you through this process.  If you don't have at least one person in your life to do this it is time to find some.  Here is a forewarning this process takes a lot of hard work and even some confrontation. This is the only way we can become family strong.  On a personal note, there are plenty of people who were family strong for me in the last six months and I wanted to thank you all.  Everything from asking how I was doing to the prayers to the listening ear to the laughs thank you from the bottom of my heart

   I encourage everyone to read John 5 and maybe next time we can discuss how Jesus upset the apple cart by actually healing on the Sabbath.  Full disclosure, taking away or adding actions is not the end all be all.  Jesus is the only one that can truly heal.  Everything we do is just a temporary solution unless He is the Lord of our lives and we embrace His grace and leading for our lives