Whats in a Gift?

For those of you who are fans of the television show The Big Theory, you know that the character Sheldon Cooper is a genius with zero social skills.  The show plays up this fact in the interactions with his friends and coworkers on the show.  One episode he was blackmailed into throwing giving his roommate Leonard a surprise birthday party.  As he was contemplating what to get Leonard, he was perplexed, because the nicer the gift he would give, it would be expected that Lenard would give the equivalent price gift on a later date.  So this got me thinking, what’s a gift?  I have a gut feeling that most of us give gifts with strings attached, whether we realize it or not.  We give a gift in hoping to get something done for us in return on a later date.  Or, we use it to repay someone who has done something nice for us. 

            One of the books I have been reading by Miroslav Volf in his book Free of Charge.  Through out the book, Volf makes the argument that when we give gifts with strings attached; at best we are coming across as self absorbent people who only give gifts to get something.  These type of people tend to run people over to get what they want.  The only way they do something, is if it benefits them.  If we go to the other extreme, we are thieves, stealing what does not truly belong to us.   Our motives in giving our time, money, giftings isn’t to benefit the other person, but it is for self gain.  The only reason we give these gifts is to make ourselves look better and because we are greedy.  The other persons benefit becomes secondary to what we want or what our perceived needs are, or how it can benefit us in some way.  The benefits could be money, promotions, to cast shame on a not so delightful coworker or family member. 

            So the final question is, what is a gift and how is one suppose to give and receive one.  I know this is easier said than done, but I think the first item we need to consider is what is our motivation for giving the gift?  Is our motivation for self promotion, or scratching their back, so our back can get scratched at a later time.  Gift giving with strings attached will always s eventually lead to bad consequences. It is buying the spouse flowers so we can get out of a predicament later.  The second idea, does this gift build the other person up, or bring them down.  Does the gift help them with their relationship with God or does it take it away from God.  The third thing, is that giving good gifts and grace is the same thing.  Both gifts and grace is something that is given that the receiver does not achieve through works, but is based on the character of the one who gives those things.  God is the giver of all good and perfect gifts, and its not what we have done to earn those things, but it is who He is.  We can never earn God’s love, but He gives it because He wants to be in right relationship with us.  Now this love has boundaries for our own protection and even boundaries are a gift.  The net time you give a give a gift, is it with strings attached, or is it for the betterment of the other person and to see them grow and mature..  The gifts with no stings attached are the best gifts to give and to receive, but also the hardest to give and to receive.  Because we get nothing in return and we did nothing to earn that gift.