What are good friends for

  In life we friends that will be just be friends for a season.  No amount of Facebook can keep us conected after so long.  Whether its just life circumstances, or moving on in life or any other reason, we walk with each other trough a particular season in life.  Then there are the friends that we interact with because of life circumstances.  Whether it is because of work, or the our kids are on the same team or class.  There is that interaction between each other, and we know stuff about them, but it stays really superficial.  Then there are the friends that you are willing to give your right arm for.  If they needed a kidney and you had a match, you would give it to them no questions asked.  For most, those friends are few and far between.  We cherish those relationships and we work hard at keeping them.  The length of time does not necessarily mean that it is a deep relationship.  I have been in relationship for years and it has stayed and on the superficial level. Then there are the relationships that have only been for a short time and it has felt like you known each other for years.  I have a friend like that and every year I make it a point to make it to Kansas to see him and his family.  I have not only gotten to know his wife and kids, but his parents and brothers too.  Here is a picture of his two of his kids

   I have been thinking what a true friend looks like Biblical.  In Proverbs it tells us that a good friend sticks closer to us than a brother.  That is a good verse to look at, but I got thinking of the story of Jonathan and King David.  Jonathan had every right to be mad at David, because David was taking what was rightfully his.  You see, Jonathan was the son of King Saul, and this means that he was net in line to be king when Saul died.  This would be true but with Saul falling out of favor with God, God elected David to be the net king.  Instead of being mean and hateful about it, Jonathan chose to protect David even putting his own life at risk.  There were a number of occasions where Saul wanted to kill David, but Jonathan stuck his neck out to warn David.  I think there are several ways that we can look at our friendships and how we interact with them.  Especially those relationships we hold near and dear to our hearts. Because there are friends that are like family and for all intents and purposes they are family 

  Is our relationships an inward focused or an outward focused relationship.  In all honesty we have friends and are those friends that show up when we only need something.  Were only friends with them because of either what one side of the relationship can provide and the other can give.  In every relationship there is a give and take, but when that becomes the sole focus of the relationship, it will lead down a path of abuse and only seeing people for what they can do for us instead of who they are.  The flip side of that coin is that we are only friends with them because we are the only ones that can help them, or even save them.  This will often give us a savior complex and it turns people into projects.

  Another relationship status is what I would call your beer drinking buddies.  There isn't wrong with having friends to go out and have fun with.  We all need to go out and have fun and enjoy life.  Life with these friends is all about going out and having a good time.  These are nice friends to have, but they end up being shallow relationships looking for the net thrill and waiting for things to go legendary.  Living this life leads to stunted maturity because no one is there to push us to grow and to be better. 

   I could go on, but there are the fiends that we should have and need to have that push us to grow and get better.  Are we willing to live out our lives and do we encourage each other to grow.  Are we willing to walk not ahead or behind people but along side of them.  One of the cool catch phrases of our time is "doing life together"  It is more than doing life in the peaks and valley of life and just getting through them.  In our relationships, if we are not pointing each other to the cross, there is something that is drastically wrong.  The cross is what makes things equal and it also provides the agent for change.  When we push each other and ourselves to the cross, it means that we use such things as forgiveness, understanding, communication, empathy, and even confrontation when needed.  These things are not done out of personal glory or for condemnation, but to see the other person grow in Christ.  God's grace and love needs to be at the center of all we do.  To wrap things up, are we using our relationships for fun and games, self interest, or to be with each other to grow and to support each other through all of life seasons