With working at Wal Mart, I am blessed with some very interesting interactions with others, whether with coworkers or customers. Recently I was doing some stocking and a customer asked if she was in the way, and I replied "nope, your perfect" and her response is what caught my attention. She replied that she wished I could tell her husband and boss that and then she walked away. I could tell that this was a loaded statement and there seemed to be a lot of emotion behind it. I didn't know how to take this and I just went about my work, but this phrase has stuck with me ever sense.
In America we are concerned with perfection, whether it is finding the perfect spouse, having the perfect kids, to the vehicles we drive, teams we cheer for and various other areas in our life. Our dominate view of perfection is that something that has no flaws or imperfections. In essence there is nothing wrong with it and it does what it is suppose to do. To add a Biblical definition of perfection, it means that something is sinless and without a blemish. In essence, this is one of God's major and overarching characteristics and God commands us to be perfect. So does God demand us to be perfect, as in without blemish in our thoughts, words and actions every minute of every day? The other side of this argument is that we will never see that form of perfection this side of heaven, even though we can try, we will fail. I think there just might be a middle ground here somewhere, but first we need to expand this idea of perfection. Yes it still means without blemish, but there is also a sense that perfection is doing completely what one is created to do. We all know that brooms can not cure cancer because that is not what it was created for. It was created to sweep up floors and to collect dirt. As long as it does this, its a perfect broom. The same can be said for us as people. Are we doing what we are created for. Here are some things that I think we are created for, and its more than just about vocation, and lifestyle.
The first idea of perfection and maybe the most important one is the idea of maturity. Maturity is more than just doing things or not doing things, I think it is a mind set. If its just about doing or not doing things, it turns us into being a legalist and honestly it burns me out just thinking about it. Being the legalist is all about the rules of what one can and can not do. In essence, its all about me. With maturity, there is still a concern for rules and lifestyles, but there is a different outlook on them. Not only are we suppose to ask how does doing or not doing something help or hinder me, but also the people around me. Maturity is taking inventory of where one is at and knowing where one is going and doing the necessary things to get there
The second idea of perfection is this idea of relationships. As much as some of us want to hide in a hole most days, we have to interact with others. Whether it is with God, family, friends, co workers or people that you feel you have no need for, I think we need to be reminded that we are not an island. My challenge to all of us is to name the top five people we interact with on either a daily or weekly basis. How are we being influenced by them and how are we influencing their character. A big part of being perfect, or maturity as I like to call it is how we interact with others. Are we challenging ourselves and others to a higher standard, or are we stuck in the same place for the last five years, or are we resorting to junior high behavior?
The other side of the relational side of perfection is our relationship with God. We all are being conformed into something or someone's likeness. If we are going with the definition of perfection of doing what we are created to do, the only way we know what we are created to do and to do with it with any success is to spend time with the Creator. If you want to know what something does and its full potential, not only do you read the owners manual, but you talk to the creator of the invention. With the help of the Creator of the Universe is the only way we can live up to what we are created for. I can do some things on my computer, but if I were to read the owners manual and spend time with a computer engineer, I can use my computer for so much more and it was designed to do those things.
The third thing about perfection or maturity as I like to call it is that we grow in love. It is not a conceded love that just cares for us and what we can get out of life, but a perfect love that grows and wants the best out of ourselves, but others as well. This love is sacrificial and it often pushes us out of our comfort zone. This love seeks to be in healthy and growing relationships. This means that we are not only seeking forgiveness from others, granting the same, and we even find ways to right the wrongs that have been committed through act of justice. Love and justice is about being in right relationship with others and this means not only supporting each other but we are also looking for ways to have healthy boundaries. Having healthy boundaries means that we have set rules in place not only for a sense that we feel that some things are wrong, but if we do them, it has a detrimental affect on not only us, but the people around us.
I know there is more about perfection or maturity that can be said, but lets save that for another time
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Go Team Go...Maybe
One of the things I really enjoy doing is being on Facebook and Twitter during sporting events. I really enjoy seeing all the comments and reactions to a particular game. This really was evident last night while I was watching the Royals/Athletics play in game. Not only was the game one for the ages, but the comments and reactions were just as good. One of the things that I find fascinating is that one play can have many different interpretations, it all depends who you are rooting for and what your interest are. I think there are several reasons why we are so passionate about sports.
The first thing is that it gives us something to hope in. If you are a sports fan, hope is what drives us to watch and to cheer for that particular team. It is a hope that our team will win, make the playoffs and win the championship. I think this hope is based on the notion that there is something greater then the mundane life that we live. It is wanting something more than what we have right now. I think this hope is based on our failures, unfulfilled dreams, or that someone or a group of people can achieve something greater than we can ever do or imagine.
Another concept of hope is that hope connects people. In a world of social media and cell phones that can connect us to people around the world instantly, there are studies that show that we are a people that do not connect well with other people on an personal and intimate level. We all want to belong to something, and to cheer for a cause that is bigger than us. When we cheer for a particular team, it gives us connection to other people, because it gives us something to talk about. I can tell you how many conversations that I have had that have been started over something dealing with sports. But there is a danger because our sports teams can give us this false sense of community and connectivity. If all we talk about is sports and nothing of importance, we are missing out on a deeper relationship. There is nothing wrong with watching the game or playing fantasy sports, but if that's all we do, we are missing out on a deeper relationships. I think as a society, we are content with knowing the useless facts and not digging deeper. True hope is where both people are actively engaged in the relationship and it is not one sided.
The second thing that sports does is that it gives us a sense of right or wrong. In a society that constantly demands moral relativism in all aspects of it, we turn to sports for absolutes. I know that every rule can be left up to interpretation just like the strike zone and the unwritten rules of baseball, but we long for concrete absolutes. We crave for to know what is right and wrong and to live by those standards. Sports gives us those absolutes, whether it is ten yards for a first down, three strikes is an out, or three twenty minute periods in hockey. As people we crave for standards to live by and not have things debated on right and wrong. Don't get me wrong, there still is plenty of this in sports, just as in life, but this still doesn't stop for us wanting and needing these absolute things to believe in and live by.
The third thing that sports can do for us is that it is an escape. We all need a break from reality and sports gives a chance to break away from the day in and day out of life. It is a chance to relax and enjoy something with other people. There is nothing wrong with watching a football game, but when we are using these things to not deal with issues, it becomes a problem. We all have our escapes, whether sports, food, alcohol or other things. We can make the shift from just taking a break, to life stinks and I don't want to deal with it. We spend so much time doing these things because we don't want to deal with reality. Life is so much better when we deal with these things, it may not be easy, but life will be worth while.
The fourth thing and the last thing is that sports is a reflection of our culture. By far football is Americas most popular sport. What sells us on football is sex and violence. Whether it is the television advertisements promoting sex and violence, to the players wanting to obliterate each other. How often do we act out towards each other. We may not be punching each other, but what we say to each other or behind each others back is just as damning. There is also a segment in sports where they live by the mantra of "its not cheating unless you get caught." As Americans, we have embraced that saying and use it often. It is the attitude that I will do anything to improve, just as long as I don get caught doing wrong.
Recently the NFL has been in the line of fire of the American public for spouse and child abuse. There has ben a public outrage over these things and as well as they should be, but here is the thing, we can condemn the players for doing this, but if we were doing the same thing, would we want the same condemnation. If I were to venture to guess, there are plenty of child and spousal abuse cases that do not get reported or cared about because the people aren't famous and that is wrong and a double standard.
I could probably go on, but here is the thing, sports are not the end all be all. The only thing that gives us true meaning and hope is through having a relationship with God through Jesus and being in healthy relationship with others, because nothing else matters
The first thing is that it gives us something to hope in. If you are a sports fan, hope is what drives us to watch and to cheer for that particular team. It is a hope that our team will win, make the playoffs and win the championship. I think this hope is based on the notion that there is something greater then the mundane life that we live. It is wanting something more than what we have right now. I think this hope is based on our failures, unfulfilled dreams, or that someone or a group of people can achieve something greater than we can ever do or imagine.
Another concept of hope is that hope connects people. In a world of social media and cell phones that can connect us to people around the world instantly, there are studies that show that we are a people that do not connect well with other people on an personal and intimate level. We all want to belong to something, and to cheer for a cause that is bigger than us. When we cheer for a particular team, it gives us connection to other people, because it gives us something to talk about. I can tell you how many conversations that I have had that have been started over something dealing with sports. But there is a danger because our sports teams can give us this false sense of community and connectivity. If all we talk about is sports and nothing of importance, we are missing out on a deeper relationship. There is nothing wrong with watching the game or playing fantasy sports, but if that's all we do, we are missing out on a deeper relationships. I think as a society, we are content with knowing the useless facts and not digging deeper. True hope is where both people are actively engaged in the relationship and it is not one sided.
The second thing that sports does is that it gives us a sense of right or wrong. In a society that constantly demands moral relativism in all aspects of it, we turn to sports for absolutes. I know that every rule can be left up to interpretation just like the strike zone and the unwritten rules of baseball, but we long for concrete absolutes. We crave for to know what is right and wrong and to live by those standards. Sports gives us those absolutes, whether it is ten yards for a first down, three strikes is an out, or three twenty minute periods in hockey. As people we crave for standards to live by and not have things debated on right and wrong. Don't get me wrong, there still is plenty of this in sports, just as in life, but this still doesn't stop for us wanting and needing these absolute things to believe in and live by.
The third thing that sports can do for us is that it is an escape. We all need a break from reality and sports gives a chance to break away from the day in and day out of life. It is a chance to relax and enjoy something with other people. There is nothing wrong with watching a football game, but when we are using these things to not deal with issues, it becomes a problem. We all have our escapes, whether sports, food, alcohol or other things. We can make the shift from just taking a break, to life stinks and I don't want to deal with it. We spend so much time doing these things because we don't want to deal with reality. Life is so much better when we deal with these things, it may not be easy, but life will be worth while.
The fourth thing and the last thing is that sports is a reflection of our culture. By far football is Americas most popular sport. What sells us on football is sex and violence. Whether it is the television advertisements promoting sex and violence, to the players wanting to obliterate each other. How often do we act out towards each other. We may not be punching each other, but what we say to each other or behind each others back is just as damning. There is also a segment in sports where they live by the mantra of "its not cheating unless you get caught." As Americans, we have embraced that saying and use it often. It is the attitude that I will do anything to improve, just as long as I don get caught doing wrong.
Recently the NFL has been in the line of fire of the American public for spouse and child abuse. There has ben a public outrage over these things and as well as they should be, but here is the thing, we can condemn the players for doing this, but if we were doing the same thing, would we want the same condemnation. If I were to venture to guess, there are plenty of child and spousal abuse cases that do not get reported or cared about because the people aren't famous and that is wrong and a double standard.
I could probably go on, but here is the thing, sports are not the end all be all. The only thing that gives us true meaning and hope is through having a relationship with God through Jesus and being in healthy relationship with others, because nothing else matters
Sunday, August 10, 2014
I consider my self
I was on vacation last week and I had the privilege of hearing one of my college friends preach an excellent sermon. One of the thrust of his message was that as we live our life, we find out that its not fair. It got me thinking about the 75th anniversary of Lou Gehrig's famous speech. Lou Gehrig was a baseball player for the New York Yankees in the 1920's-1930's and the three things he is most known for is his record consecutive games played in 2130 (which since has been broken), the terrible disease that bears his name and his famous speech. He made his famous and impromptu speech of declaring himself the luckiest man of the face of this earth after his disease diagnosis and weeks of media speculation. I think there are several things we can learn from his speech.
The first one is a matter of perspective. Are we willing to give thanks for all things and in all situations. There are going to be times in life when things do not go our way, how do we deal with it. So often I find myself grumbling and having a foul attitude when something doesn't go my way and I am giving people a piece of my mind at least on the inside. Being thankful is more than just being happy, because being happy is based on things that are going on around you. Happiness is often temporal, because we are bound to have a yucky day from time to time. Being grateful is based on who we belong to, and who we are, and not what is happening to us. Being grateful means that we have that peace of God living in us and through us, and no matter what we are living a life of contentment. Being content is finding peace with what you have, but always looking ways to grow that you can control.
The second one is a realization that life isn't fair. Lou Gehrig knew this well. He could of complained about receiving ALS, but his attitude seemed to be one of humility. Here is some thoughts on fairness. We all want life to be fair and to get what we think we deserve. Here is the cold hard facts, if we really got what was fair, we all be in trouble because our fairness is based on our standards, and our standards are aimed to make us happy and to look good. Our standards and rules for fairness is based on our questionable judgment and an aim to serve me first, or at least we can get some benefit out of it. As people we are really selfish and we can look at history of our own lives and the lives of others to see that personal interest and our own standards have a really high failure rate.
Another reason why we think that life aint fair is because we place our own standards on other people and not follow through with them ourselves. It is a whole lot easier for us to expect other people to live by our own standards than for us to do the hard work. This takes hard work, possible criticism and when we do fail, we have no one to blame but ourselves. In all reality, people like to play the blame game for why something didn't work. Why do I have to take responsibility if I can pass most or all of the blame on someone else.
The third big reason why we view that life aint fair is we question the gifts that God gives. God is the giver all gifts that are good and holy. We often think that our judgment is on par or better than God's. We often want the gifts that we think are cool and sexy. When we start wanting those gifts and blaming God for not giving us those gifts, we are telling God that we are more important than He is and He doesn't know what He is doing. When we want those gifts, it is often to bring ourselves glory and not giving God glory. The reason God gives those gifts is not because He wants to make us happy, but to bring Him glory and to point the world to Him.
This post doesn't cover the problem of evil and why bad things happen to good people, which is a lengthy conversation in itself. This is just a beginning blog post and our view of fairness needs to change how we view life to How God views life
The first one is a matter of perspective. Are we willing to give thanks for all things and in all situations. There are going to be times in life when things do not go our way, how do we deal with it. So often I find myself grumbling and having a foul attitude when something doesn't go my way and I am giving people a piece of my mind at least on the inside. Being thankful is more than just being happy, because being happy is based on things that are going on around you. Happiness is often temporal, because we are bound to have a yucky day from time to time. Being grateful is based on who we belong to, and who we are, and not what is happening to us. Being grateful means that we have that peace of God living in us and through us, and no matter what we are living a life of contentment. Being content is finding peace with what you have, but always looking ways to grow that you can control.
The second one is a realization that life isn't fair. Lou Gehrig knew this well. He could of complained about receiving ALS, but his attitude seemed to be one of humility. Here is some thoughts on fairness. We all want life to be fair and to get what we think we deserve. Here is the cold hard facts, if we really got what was fair, we all be in trouble because our fairness is based on our standards, and our standards are aimed to make us happy and to look good. Our standards and rules for fairness is based on our questionable judgment and an aim to serve me first, or at least we can get some benefit out of it. As people we are really selfish and we can look at history of our own lives and the lives of others to see that personal interest and our own standards have a really high failure rate.
Another reason why we think that life aint fair is because we place our own standards on other people and not follow through with them ourselves. It is a whole lot easier for us to expect other people to live by our own standards than for us to do the hard work. This takes hard work, possible criticism and when we do fail, we have no one to blame but ourselves. In all reality, people like to play the blame game for why something didn't work. Why do I have to take responsibility if I can pass most or all of the blame on someone else.
The third big reason why we view that life aint fair is we question the gifts that God gives. God is the giver all gifts that are good and holy. We often think that our judgment is on par or better than God's. We often want the gifts that we think are cool and sexy. When we start wanting those gifts and blaming God for not giving us those gifts, we are telling God that we are more important than He is and He doesn't know what He is doing. When we want those gifts, it is often to bring ourselves glory and not giving God glory. The reason God gives those gifts is not because He wants to make us happy, but to bring Him glory and to point the world to Him.
This post doesn't cover the problem of evil and why bad things happen to good people, which is a lengthy conversation in itself. This is just a beginning blog post and our view of fairness needs to change how we view life to How God views life
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Loyalty
As I pay attention to professional sports, one of the trends that fans expect in all leagues is loyalty. We demand loyalty from owners, other fans, and especially players. We all become indignant when the star player leaves for another team, especially when it is the rival team. Loyalty doesn't come to just sports teams, but it extends to the places we shop, to the cloths we wear, and even to the people we hang out with. There are number of grocery stores, gas stations and even coffee shops that offer some sort of rewards programs. If you buy so much of gas, coffee, or groceries, you will get a percentage off or something free. There are a lot of good things about loyalty and it is something that we all should have in our lives, but loyalty does have a dark side. If we are not careful, we will start demanding things that we do not expect of ourselves, or end up in relationships that are not healthy. Here are some areas of loyalty that we really need to squash, and if we don't, bad things will happen.
The first dark side of loyalty is that it can be a relationship killer. One might think that loyalty will help keep the relationship going and keep it strong. The way that loyalty kills the relationship is that one is afraid to rock the boat or to disagree with the parties involved. The worse killer of the relationship is when we are so loyal in the relationship that we can not tell the other person they are wrong or admit to being wrong. This is seeing that disagreement as being wrong and that when we tell other people they are wrong its that we are cutting them down as people. In essence, we value the relationship over accountability. We would rather keep the relationship superficial instead of digging deeper. In this phase we do not value the person, because we are not willing to be open and honest with them. If we really do value the relationship, we tell people the truth and not what we think they want to here. When we tell people what we think they want to hear, and not the truth, not only are we lying to them, but we are lying to ourselves. What kind of relationship is it, if we can not be honest.
The second dark side of loyalty is closely related to the first one. It is the concept of we care more about the outward appearance than what is really going on, in the inside. We would rather make things look good, when they are really not. Two examples of this, is that we are either putting lipstick on a pig, or instead of changing the diaper, we are using the scented candles. We want to keep the relationship so bad, we keep doing or not doing things to keep the relationship afloat. Instead of working on things that need to be worked on, we are dancing around them or sweeping them under the rug and not admitting that they are even there. When we do not admit to the elephant in the room because of loyalty, the relationship will die faster than a sinking ship. An example of this is when I am talking with one of my good friends, he often starts rambling about something random and then I start to zone out. Then after awhile he calls me out on it and I look like an idiot. The other day we were talking and he decided to do this and I called him out on it. He was really impressed and proud of me.
The third dark side of loyalty is that we expect more out of others than we do ourselves. I see this in professional sports all the time. We want the athletes to stay with the same team their whole career and when they bolt for more money and better benefits, we get angry. Here is the thing, we would do the same thing if we were given the same opportunity. In all reality, it is a double standard. We should expect the same from ourselves, if not better, as we do others. Its just not fair to hold people to standards that we will not told ourselves too. One of the other dangers with this mentality is that we live through other people. Whether it is pro athletes, our children, superiors at work, or people we admire. We live through them, because we want what they have. Whether it is fulfilling unmet dreams or desires, or that we are not satisfied with our own life. To be point plank, we are lusting after other peoples giftings and talents, and most of the time its because we are not willing to put in the work and the time to develop our own, or we have a bad view of our giftings. We all want the glamorous talents, such as looks, athleticism, leadership, and others, but here is the thing, all the talents are equal, because they are designed to not only reach people, but reach people for the Kingdom of God. When we can start being more honest with ourselves and others, we can be more honest with God. When we lust after other things, we are slapping God in the face and saying that He screwed up with us. It is time where we start being honest with ourselves, others, and especially God. Loyalty is a good thing, but when we can not be honest and it starts to ruin our relationship with God and others, it is a very bad thing
The first dark side of loyalty is that it can be a relationship killer. One might think that loyalty will help keep the relationship going and keep it strong. The way that loyalty kills the relationship is that one is afraid to rock the boat or to disagree with the parties involved. The worse killer of the relationship is when we are so loyal in the relationship that we can not tell the other person they are wrong or admit to being wrong. This is seeing that disagreement as being wrong and that when we tell other people they are wrong its that we are cutting them down as people. In essence, we value the relationship over accountability. We would rather keep the relationship superficial instead of digging deeper. In this phase we do not value the person, because we are not willing to be open and honest with them. If we really do value the relationship, we tell people the truth and not what we think they want to here. When we tell people what we think they want to hear, and not the truth, not only are we lying to them, but we are lying to ourselves. What kind of relationship is it, if we can not be honest.
The second dark side of loyalty is closely related to the first one. It is the concept of we care more about the outward appearance than what is really going on, in the inside. We would rather make things look good, when they are really not. Two examples of this, is that we are either putting lipstick on a pig, or instead of changing the diaper, we are using the scented candles. We want to keep the relationship so bad, we keep doing or not doing things to keep the relationship afloat. Instead of working on things that need to be worked on, we are dancing around them or sweeping them under the rug and not admitting that they are even there. When we do not admit to the elephant in the room because of loyalty, the relationship will die faster than a sinking ship. An example of this is when I am talking with one of my good friends, he often starts rambling about something random and then I start to zone out. Then after awhile he calls me out on it and I look like an idiot. The other day we were talking and he decided to do this and I called him out on it. He was really impressed and proud of me.
The third dark side of loyalty is that we expect more out of others than we do ourselves. I see this in professional sports all the time. We want the athletes to stay with the same team their whole career and when they bolt for more money and better benefits, we get angry. Here is the thing, we would do the same thing if we were given the same opportunity. In all reality, it is a double standard. We should expect the same from ourselves, if not better, as we do others. Its just not fair to hold people to standards that we will not told ourselves too. One of the other dangers with this mentality is that we live through other people. Whether it is pro athletes, our children, superiors at work, or people we admire. We live through them, because we want what they have. Whether it is fulfilling unmet dreams or desires, or that we are not satisfied with our own life. To be point plank, we are lusting after other peoples giftings and talents, and most of the time its because we are not willing to put in the work and the time to develop our own, or we have a bad view of our giftings. We all want the glamorous talents, such as looks, athleticism, leadership, and others, but here is the thing, all the talents are equal, because they are designed to not only reach people, but reach people for the Kingdom of God. When we can start being more honest with ourselves and others, we can be more honest with God. When we lust after other things, we are slapping God in the face and saying that He screwed up with us. It is time where we start being honest with ourselves, others, and especially God. Loyalty is a good thing, but when we can not be honest and it starts to ruin our relationship with God and others, it is a very bad thing
Monday, June 16, 2014
The church and spurs
If you paid any attention to basketball over the last fifteen years or so, you would know that the San Antonio Spurs have been a really good team. Since 1999, they have only had one year of not reaching fifty wins, and that was a strike shortened year. In that time they have been to six NBA Finals, while winning five of them. Their head coach Greg Popavich and star player Tim Duncan have been there for all of them, while the two other star players (Manu Ginobli, Tony Parker) have been there for four of the championships. What this three players and their head coach have accomplished is very impressive and very hard to do. The Spurs have been known for years to be one of the best run basketball organizations in the NBA and it got me thinking what can the church learn from them. I posed this question to my social media accounts and this what a friend and I came up with.
The first idea that we can learn is that in order for any organization to succeed, but especially the church, there needs to be sacrifice. Tim Duncan is one of the greatest players to ever play his position at any generation of basketball. He could of demanded the outrageous pay check, or that the scheme of the game would revolve around him. Instead, he did what the team needed him to do to be successful, both on the court and off of the court. If the church wants to have an impact on their community and the world, it needs to learn about sacrifice. It is learning to give God and others the credit when credit is deserved and owning up to mistakes. It is also learning that we are neither too good nor is anything way above us. Are we willing to do what it takes to build the church. Whether it is spending time cleaning, to teaching a kids Sunday school class, to being in a leadership position. Now we all have particular gifts and we need to use them to all of our ability and help the church become healthy and vibrant.
The second idea is that size does not matter and this is what I mean. San Antonio is considered a small market team, so that means they potentially have a less of a income stream coming in through attendance, merchandising and media rights and this means they have to be more financially sound with their money. How this applies to the church is that we do not have to be a church with five pastors and an average attendance of 500 plus to have an impact on the community. The question is that are we using the resources and talents that we have wisely. It is about knowing who you are and Gods purpose for the church.
The other concept is the idea that we have to have the mindset that we are more concerned about fundamentals over the flash. The Spurs have been known for playing fundamentally sound basketball. This is playing good defense, not turning the ball over and taking what the other team gives you. For some, this is boring basketball, because it isn't up and down with a lot of dunking. As a church, are we more concerned about the flash and excitement, or do we more concerned with about discipleship, worship, and evangelism. The fundamentals of the faith is that we bring new people in, create mature disciples of Christ and those mature disciples go out to bring more people in to disciple so they can become mature reproducing Christians. Why look for the new thing, when we are not doing what we know we should be doing. Obedience is not only maturity, but it is following through with what we know to be true and learning something new. We can not run unless we get the walking thing down first.
The third thing we can learn from the Spurs is the idea of leadership. Having fifteen plus years with the same coach in the NBA is unheard of. I would guess the average shelf life for a coach is under five years. The leadership of a church and should always be pointing towards Jesus. The leadership of the church not only needs to practice what it preaches. but there needs to be humility and servanthood. Are the leaders of the church spending as much time on their knees as they are leading? This applies to more than just the pastor. The church leaders are not the ones with the title, but the one who has a sphere of influence. When the decisions are being made, who are people turning to for guidance and who ultimately can sway the vote. It is being consistent and it also is being molded by Jesus so they can mold other people.
I know that there is more that can be written and the question is the church in it for the long haul and are we willing to put in the work to impact the world
The first idea that we can learn is that in order for any organization to succeed, but especially the church, there needs to be sacrifice. Tim Duncan is one of the greatest players to ever play his position at any generation of basketball. He could of demanded the outrageous pay check, or that the scheme of the game would revolve around him. Instead, he did what the team needed him to do to be successful, both on the court and off of the court. If the church wants to have an impact on their community and the world, it needs to learn about sacrifice. It is learning to give God and others the credit when credit is deserved and owning up to mistakes. It is also learning that we are neither too good nor is anything way above us. Are we willing to do what it takes to build the church. Whether it is spending time cleaning, to teaching a kids Sunday school class, to being in a leadership position. Now we all have particular gifts and we need to use them to all of our ability and help the church become healthy and vibrant.
The second idea is that size does not matter and this is what I mean. San Antonio is considered a small market team, so that means they potentially have a less of a income stream coming in through attendance, merchandising and media rights and this means they have to be more financially sound with their money. How this applies to the church is that we do not have to be a church with five pastors and an average attendance of 500 plus to have an impact on the community. The question is that are we using the resources and talents that we have wisely. It is about knowing who you are and Gods purpose for the church.
The other concept is the idea that we have to have the mindset that we are more concerned about fundamentals over the flash. The Spurs have been known for playing fundamentally sound basketball. This is playing good defense, not turning the ball over and taking what the other team gives you. For some, this is boring basketball, because it isn't up and down with a lot of dunking. As a church, are we more concerned about the flash and excitement, or do we more concerned with about discipleship, worship, and evangelism. The fundamentals of the faith is that we bring new people in, create mature disciples of Christ and those mature disciples go out to bring more people in to disciple so they can become mature reproducing Christians. Why look for the new thing, when we are not doing what we know we should be doing. Obedience is not only maturity, but it is following through with what we know to be true and learning something new. We can not run unless we get the walking thing down first.
The third thing we can learn from the Spurs is the idea of leadership. Having fifteen plus years with the same coach in the NBA is unheard of. I would guess the average shelf life for a coach is under five years. The leadership of a church and should always be pointing towards Jesus. The leadership of the church not only needs to practice what it preaches. but there needs to be humility and servanthood. Are the leaders of the church spending as much time on their knees as they are leading? This applies to more than just the pastor. The church leaders are not the ones with the title, but the one who has a sphere of influence. When the decisions are being made, who are people turning to for guidance and who ultimately can sway the vote. It is being consistent and it also is being molded by Jesus so they can mold other people.
I know that there is more that can be written and the question is the church in it for the long haul and are we willing to put in the work to impact the world
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Friends and sacrifice
I was watching a hockey game last week and I noticed something that I have never noticed before. There were players for both team, but especially the home team when in the defensive zone would be "falling" down every time an opposing player would take a shot. It is not because these players are bad skaters, because they are professional skaters and most of them can skate better backwards better than the average person can skate forward. What they were doing was either blocking or attempting to block shots of the opposing team so the puck does not get to the goaltender and have the possibility of getting past him. Blocked shots are an actual stat that is kept by hockey teams on various levels of play. In essence, the players are sacrificing themselves to be hit by a hard piece of rubber so that they might have a better chance of winning. It is really hard for the puck to go in when it doesn't make it to the net.
This has gotten me thinking over the last week about this idea of sacrifice and friendship. We tend to be people of gluttony, it doesn't matter if it is with food, time, money, possessions and even friendships. Most of us want the most friends with the most benefits with giving up the least amount of work. This is a vary dangerous path and the opposite is true to. What are we willing to do to make things happen. I understand that we tend to over use the word sacrifice in a variety of venues, but where do we go from talking about sacrifice to implementing it. Sacrifice has the implication of it costing us something, or the giving up of something to gain something else. The common Bible verse that keeps coming to mind is found in John 15, which is greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. The question is, what are we willing to do for our friends to build healthy boundaries and have healthy friendships. What are will willing to give up to make the friendship work. I think there are times where we are to willing to chuck people underneath the bus to make things work for us. Here are some ideas that I have been wrestling with.
The first realization is that we all have friends that are in different life situations, and this does not make them a better or worse person. I am still working through this and don't have all the answers. With me approaching my mid thirties and still single, I am in a different boat than some of my friends, because they are married and have children. This means that long phone calls and late night Applebees outings are few and far between. Priorities are different and to be honest there are things that they go through on a day to day basis that I have no understanding of. It doesn't mean that I am not as smart, it just means that their experience is different. Sometimes just embracing those differences and unknown things makes for a better friendship. Also, embracing the children and parenthood is key to this friendship, no matter if the kids are cute and fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum for no apparent reason.
The second realization is that we all have friends who either come around when they need something, or they are needy and are always needing something. These are the friends who always seem to be taking and not much is giving back. I have seen enough rants on social media to know that it drives people crazy when this happens. So here is my piece of advice, don't be that person. Most likely we are that needy person to someone. I am not saying we can not ask for help or we going through a difficult season of life where we do are share of taking. This is apart of life, but when it becomes our character, something is wrong. This is where we start to see people not as people, but as an avenue to get things done. We are essentially running them over so our needs can be met. This is where healthy boundaries need to be set and if you are that needy person, quit it and apologize for it.
The third and most important thing about sacrifice and friendship is accountability. It is something as Americans we are not fond of, especially us guys. We would rather say everything is ok and move on. Are we willing to stick around and not only ask the tough questions, but are we willing to stick around to share and hear those answers. I think one of the biggest sacrifices we can make with each other is being honest with each other. We often just want to hear the good stuff and not the bad and where we need to change. This style of friendship means that we are journeying through this life together and not holding each other higher or lower than we should, but though the eyes of Christ. Essentially it is remembering that we are all equal at the foot of the cross.
Back to the hockey analogy. One of the signs of a good team that is headed in the right direction is that they are diving for loose pucks, blocking shots for their goaltender, playing fundamentally sound and they do not care who gets the credit, because everyone is carrying their fair share. €
This has gotten me thinking over the last week about this idea of sacrifice and friendship. We tend to be people of gluttony, it doesn't matter if it is with food, time, money, possessions and even friendships. Most of us want the most friends with the most benefits with giving up the least amount of work. This is a vary dangerous path and the opposite is true to. What are we willing to do to make things happen. I understand that we tend to over use the word sacrifice in a variety of venues, but where do we go from talking about sacrifice to implementing it. Sacrifice has the implication of it costing us something, or the giving up of something to gain something else. The common Bible verse that keeps coming to mind is found in John 15, which is greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. The question is, what are we willing to do for our friends to build healthy boundaries and have healthy friendships. What are will willing to give up to make the friendship work. I think there are times where we are to willing to chuck people underneath the bus to make things work for us. Here are some ideas that I have been wrestling with.
The first realization is that we all have friends that are in different life situations, and this does not make them a better or worse person. I am still working through this and don't have all the answers. With me approaching my mid thirties and still single, I am in a different boat than some of my friends, because they are married and have children. This means that long phone calls and late night Applebees outings are few and far between. Priorities are different and to be honest there are things that they go through on a day to day basis that I have no understanding of. It doesn't mean that I am not as smart, it just means that their experience is different. Sometimes just embracing those differences and unknown things makes for a better friendship. Also, embracing the children and parenthood is key to this friendship, no matter if the kids are cute and fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum for no apparent reason.
The second realization is that we all have friends who either come around when they need something, or they are needy and are always needing something. These are the friends who always seem to be taking and not much is giving back. I have seen enough rants on social media to know that it drives people crazy when this happens. So here is my piece of advice, don't be that person. Most likely we are that needy person to someone. I am not saying we can not ask for help or we going through a difficult season of life where we do are share of taking. This is apart of life, but when it becomes our character, something is wrong. This is where we start to see people not as people, but as an avenue to get things done. We are essentially running them over so our needs can be met. This is where healthy boundaries need to be set and if you are that needy person, quit it and apologize for it.
The third and most important thing about sacrifice and friendship is accountability. It is something as Americans we are not fond of, especially us guys. We would rather say everything is ok and move on. Are we willing to stick around and not only ask the tough questions, but are we willing to stick around to share and hear those answers. I think one of the biggest sacrifices we can make with each other is being honest with each other. We often just want to hear the good stuff and not the bad and where we need to change. This style of friendship means that we are journeying through this life together and not holding each other higher or lower than we should, but though the eyes of Christ. Essentially it is remembering that we are all equal at the foot of the cross.
Back to the hockey analogy. One of the signs of a good team that is headed in the right direction is that they are diving for loose pucks, blocking shots for their goaltender, playing fundamentally sound and they do not care who gets the credit, because everyone is carrying their fair share. €
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Suckingt up can be...
I have come across a realization about myself recently and for those of you who know me, it is a no brainer. I realized that I am a suck up, and the people I work with often joke about it with me. They call me a brownnoser or other terms and there are some lessons that I have learned about being a suck up. This has been a character trait in me for years, and I was even voted as a suck up by my fellow classmates as a senior. Even though I think I am coming across as being nice or building other people up, it has some ugly consequences.
The first ugly truth is that being a suck up is that you tend to see people as what they can do for you and not who they are. The only reason they are in your circle is because they provide something for you. Whether it is a providing a listening ear, pawning activities or work on them, or using something of theirs that we can't or wont do for ourselves. In this relationship, it is all about taking, and there isn't much giving back or gratitude. If there is gratitude its because they feel guilty and it is half hearted. I constantly see people complaining on Facebook about friends who only come around when they need something and never give anything in return. This is a classic suck up move. In the suck up world it is all about me and my needs.
The second ugly truth about being a suck up is that we never have an opinion of our own because we want everyone to be happy. We want everyone happy with us, just in case we need something, and we often don't confront issues because it might make people mad or we might loose a friendship. This often leads to shallow relationships and a shallow personality. We are to busy caring what other people think to work on our own issues or to develop any sort of opinion. In the world of a suck up, disagreements are bad and we avoid them at all cost. This often keeps other people at arms length and we have no solid relationships.
The third ugly truth about being a suck up is that we feel that we are never good enough. Another classic suck up move is that we are always being nice to people and doing things for them because we feel that we are not good enough. I think this comes down to that we find our self worth in what we do instead of who we are. Guys especially fall into this trap because we often find our identity in what we do. If we feel that we are not good enough, we try and do things to make other people happy. It could make us down right miserable, but if it makes the other person happy and that I can stay in their good graces, it doesn't really matter. It is something that I have to do. Often these things are missing the mark because we are not listening to other people and hearing what they want or what their needs are. Its about what I can do and not what they need.
The fourth ugly truth about being a suck up is that we elevate people higher to what they really are. In other words, we give people a god like status and everything we do or say revolves around what they do. We hindge on their every word and we would do anything for them to keep them on that pedestal. The opposite is true to. We are willing to kick anybody down because we view them as a worthless piece of garbage. We would do or say anything to keep them down and degrade them. These two ideas often come unintentional, and we don't know when we do it. Then there are other times where we know where we are being a jerk and we don't care and it gives us satisfaction doing it.
There are more ugly truths about being a suck up, but here are some solutions to overcome the suck up disease. The first one is realize that people are people and that people are not things. We need to stop using people for our guilty pleasures and to get what we want all the time. It is seeing them more than just what they do, but realizing that they are a person created in the image of God. Often how we treat others is a direct correlation how we relate to God. We need to realize that people are not pawns that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and not pawns in a chess game.
The second realization is that we need to be honest with others, God and ourselves. We have to be honest with God and others. Being a suck up often revolves around lies that we believe about ourselves and others and we need to stop doing this. We need to dive into the truth of Scripture to find out what it says and then to start applying it. When we do this, we can actually start being truthful with ourselves we can be truthful with others. Sometimes being honest with ourselves is the hardest part, because it focuses us to examine ourselves and to deal with both the good and bad. This is the only way we can see things clearly. This also means we need a few people in our lives to be honest with us. We all need an AJ Pierzynski in our lives. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is a baseball player who can come across as a jerk. He isn't afraid to get into peoples faces or to pick a fight. He often states what he thinks and is rather blunt about it. But heres the thing, every teammate of his has said that he is a great guy and one of the most loyal people out there. We all need someone who isn't afraid to get in our face, say what they think and to be extremely loyal.
The final truth we need to hear is that we can never ever work for peoples approval, and if we could, those relationships are not worth having, because we will always be one step behind. We need to love ourselves and others not for what we can do, but who we are. Yeah sure in every relationship we do things for each other, but it is getting to the point that those actions are because we want to, and not letting those actions define who we are. It is realizing that not only am I a person, but I have value not in what I do but who I am. Value doesn't come down to its usefulness or the price tag on it. Ultimately it comes down to, what someone is willing to pay for it. Our lives have great value because not only are we created in the image of the Creator, but He also sent His only Son as ransom for us, so this means our worth is not in our eyes but His. In other words, our worth is not found in what we can do, but what Christ does in us and through us. In closing we all got a little bit of kiss ass in all of us and lets knock it off.
The first ugly truth is that being a suck up is that you tend to see people as what they can do for you and not who they are. The only reason they are in your circle is because they provide something for you. Whether it is a providing a listening ear, pawning activities or work on them, or using something of theirs that we can't or wont do for ourselves. In this relationship, it is all about taking, and there isn't much giving back or gratitude. If there is gratitude its because they feel guilty and it is half hearted. I constantly see people complaining on Facebook about friends who only come around when they need something and never give anything in return. This is a classic suck up move. In the suck up world it is all about me and my needs.
The second ugly truth about being a suck up is that we never have an opinion of our own because we want everyone to be happy. We want everyone happy with us, just in case we need something, and we often don't confront issues because it might make people mad or we might loose a friendship. This often leads to shallow relationships and a shallow personality. We are to busy caring what other people think to work on our own issues or to develop any sort of opinion. In the world of a suck up, disagreements are bad and we avoid them at all cost. This often keeps other people at arms length and we have no solid relationships.
The third ugly truth about being a suck up is that we feel that we are never good enough. Another classic suck up move is that we are always being nice to people and doing things for them because we feel that we are not good enough. I think this comes down to that we find our self worth in what we do instead of who we are. Guys especially fall into this trap because we often find our identity in what we do. If we feel that we are not good enough, we try and do things to make other people happy. It could make us down right miserable, but if it makes the other person happy and that I can stay in their good graces, it doesn't really matter. It is something that I have to do. Often these things are missing the mark because we are not listening to other people and hearing what they want or what their needs are. Its about what I can do and not what they need.
The fourth ugly truth about being a suck up is that we elevate people higher to what they really are. In other words, we give people a god like status and everything we do or say revolves around what they do. We hindge on their every word and we would do anything for them to keep them on that pedestal. The opposite is true to. We are willing to kick anybody down because we view them as a worthless piece of garbage. We would do or say anything to keep them down and degrade them. These two ideas often come unintentional, and we don't know when we do it. Then there are other times where we know where we are being a jerk and we don't care and it gives us satisfaction doing it.
There are more ugly truths about being a suck up, but here are some solutions to overcome the suck up disease. The first one is realize that people are people and that people are not things. We need to stop using people for our guilty pleasures and to get what we want all the time. It is seeing them more than just what they do, but realizing that they are a person created in the image of God. Often how we treat others is a direct correlation how we relate to God. We need to realize that people are not pawns that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and not pawns in a chess game.
The second realization is that we need to be honest with others, God and ourselves. We have to be honest with God and others. Being a suck up often revolves around lies that we believe about ourselves and others and we need to stop doing this. We need to dive into the truth of Scripture to find out what it says and then to start applying it. When we do this, we can actually start being truthful with ourselves we can be truthful with others. Sometimes being honest with ourselves is the hardest part, because it focuses us to examine ourselves and to deal with both the good and bad. This is the only way we can see things clearly. This also means we need a few people in our lives to be honest with us. We all need an AJ Pierzynski in our lives. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is a baseball player who can come across as a jerk. He isn't afraid to get into peoples faces or to pick a fight. He often states what he thinks and is rather blunt about it. But heres the thing, every teammate of his has said that he is a great guy and one of the most loyal people out there. We all need someone who isn't afraid to get in our face, say what they think and to be extremely loyal.
The final truth we need to hear is that we can never ever work for peoples approval, and if we could, those relationships are not worth having, because we will always be one step behind. We need to love ourselves and others not for what we can do, but who we are. Yeah sure in every relationship we do things for each other, but it is getting to the point that those actions are because we want to, and not letting those actions define who we are. It is realizing that not only am I a person, but I have value not in what I do but who I am. Value doesn't come down to its usefulness or the price tag on it. Ultimately it comes down to, what someone is willing to pay for it. Our lives have great value because not only are we created in the image of the Creator, but He also sent His only Son as ransom for us, so this means our worth is not in our eyes but His. In other words, our worth is not found in what we can do, but what Christ does in us and through us. In closing we all got a little bit of kiss ass in all of us and lets knock it off.
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